Every time I look around this season of the year,

I see all kinds of Christmas joy and plenty of good cheer.

And I don’t mean to grumble, and I don’t like to gripe,

But it seems to me that Christmas has become a lot of hype.

And let me tell you, it’s just become a lot of trouble.

 

The trouble, the trouble with Christmas,

The trouble with Christmas clear to see

Is the problem of crowds.

Everywhere you look there’s people in lines,

There’s people in cars,

there’s people all heading to all the same places

and parking lots spaces,

and everyone’s late (they’re late!)!

The trouble with Christmas is definitely crowds.

 

The trouble, the trouble with Christmas,

The trouble with Christmas clear to see

Is the problem of cash.

There’s never enough for everyone’s list,

And everyone’s gift,

It always costs more than you thought that it should,

And there’s always more list than dollars and cents

or checks in the book.

The trouble with Christmas is definitely cash.

 

The trouble, the trouble with Christmas,

The trouble with Christmas clear to see

Is the problem of programs (programs).

First, you rehearse, and then, you rehearse,

And here’s an idea, how ‘bout we rehearse,

First, with a band, and then, with a choir.

After forty-five years, I’d like to retire!

The trouble with Christmas is definitely programs.

 

The trouble, the trouble with Christmas (Christmas),

The trouble with Christmas clear to see

Is the problem of gifts.

You never know what to buy

For the wife to buy, for the kids to buy,

For the boss, who likely re-gifts it at the next office party,

And you’ll get it back the next year!

The trouble with Christmas is definitely gifts.

 

And then, you have to wrap them (wrap them!),

And you run out of tape (scotch tape),

And the line that you cut on the paper for the gifts it’s never straight (never straight),

So you try a bag, but the gift’s too big, and it splits the side,

And the gift falls out, and it hits the floor, it breaks in two,

And you’re back to the start, headin’ back to the store!

The trouble with Christmas is definitely gifts (it’s gifts, the gifts!)!

 

Trouble, trouble, the trouble with Christmas.

Trouble (trouble), trouble (trouble), the trouble with Christmas.

(chant continues)

 

Yes, my friends, it’s a happy time, it’s a joyous time,

The best time of the year!

But, my friends, I am sad to say,

there is trouble at Christmas! Christmas!

 

Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble (continue behind solo)

 

There’s trouble with crowds, there’s trouble with cash,

There’s trouble with programs!

There’s a carol sing, tree lighting, singing at the mall night,

Little kids in bathrobes tell the Christmas story,

And concerts every single night!

(Every single night?)

Every single night!

 

Fa la la, fa la la,

Fa la la la la la la la la!

Fa la la la la la!

 

The trouble with Christmas! (The trouble with Christmas!)

The trouble with Christmas! (The trouble with Christmas!)

Ya know, come to think of it, is probably me!

(The trouble with Christmas, the trouble with Christmas,

the trouble with Christmas is him!)

 

Bah humbug!